Bully Bonding
coercive connection
Bully bonding is not a healthy social connection built on mutual trust. Instead, it is a fueled by an extreme imbalance of power.
- The External Locus of Identity: The group’s identity is defined not by what they are, but by what they are not (and who they hate).
- Ephemeral Intimacy: The bond feels intense, but it is shallow. Vulnerability is never shown to each other; it is projected onto the victim.
- The "Kick the Dog" Phenomenon: Cruelty lowers the threshold for intimacy. If I watch you be mean to someone, and I laugh, I have signaled that I trust you to endorse my dark side.
- Moral Disengagement: The individuals genuinely believe their cruelty is justified ("He deserved it," "She is annoying," "It’s just jokes").
Identification indicators
"At your locker. I didn't mean to dent it. I was trying to hit the trash can across the hall. Missed." bully bonding
bully bonding
At its core, is a maladaptive social strategy used to create a sense of "us" by defining a "them". Rather than forming connections based on shared interests or mutual respect, members of a group bond over their shared hostility toward a victim. Key characteristics include: coercive connection Bully bonding is not a healthy